It’s probably a pretty safe assumption that most parents today think the holidays are more stressful than fun. Most of us are busy people, with kids or careers or both, and finding time to buy gifts for everyone from our parents to the dog walker is challenging to fit into our already busy schedules. That’s not even taking into account the time involved in many other typical holiday activities, such as sending out holiday cards, baking, attending parties, and arranging travel. And the expense of buying all these gifts and attending these activities can put a pinch on the budgets of even financially comfortable households.

Imagining the smile we’ll see on a child’s face when they open that perfect gift is surely one of the bright spots in all of the holiday preparations. But even that can become something to make us grumpy during this time of year, as we’re bombarded with requests for expensive items that kids see on TV, and we think about how we’ll possibly fit more toys into our already-overcrowded houses. Most parents will readily admit that their kids have too many toys – do the kids really need more? There has to be a better way. Here are some tips to help you try to put the magic back into the holidays, and move some of the focus away from the commercialism.

Get children involved in giving, too.
Too often, the holidays are focused on giving to children. Kids get a sense that the holidays are about receiving gifts, and it leads to a sense of entitlement that many adults find frustrating. So get the kids involved! Every year, my husband and I take our kids to the store, and each of the kids picks out a toy to donate to needy children in our community. The key is that the kids need to pick out something that they would like themselves, or a toy like a favorite one that they have at home. We make it a family event, and often stop for hot chocolate or donuts afterwards. The kids think of it as a fun night, but hopefully they’re also getting an antidote to the egocentric values of the culture around them.

Holly Case is a Michigan-based writer, full-time student, and a teacher of creative writing to adults. She is also the mother of three little boys who simultaneously inspire and prevent her writing. She writes frequently about environmentalism, social justice and parenting, particularly the intersection of all three issues. She is also the online/newsletter editor for Natural Food Network, where she writes about natural health.
Also by Holly on HTMAF -
Raising Eco-Conscious Children
Beating Family Cabin Fever
Teaching Social Justice to Kids

Or you can enlist the kids’ help in finding gifts for their grandparents. As our parents get older, it gets harder to find a gift to get them because they usually already have everything they could possibly want. Have the kids pick out a gift, or even better yet – make one. You can check out books like Christmas Crafts (Fun Holiday Crafts Kids Can Do) or Kids Love Jewish Holiday Crafts to get some ideas.

Volunteer together as a family.
It might seem counter-intuitive to volunteer when you’re already feeling so pressed for time, but the rewards and benefits of volunteering feed the soul. Knowing that you’re doing something good for others, instead of just spending more money at the mall, does make the holidays more enjoyable. If there isn’t already a donation drive at your child’s school, organize one together. It’s easier than it sounds, too. Together, you and your child choose a charity that serves your community, talk to the administrators at the school and get their permission to collect items either by giving notes to individual teachers and/or placing a collection box somewhere in the school building. Then, you and your child can sort the items and transport them to the charity – or the charity themselves might be available to pick up the items.

If you’ve never volunteered at a soup kitchen, or if you did it yourself but never took your kids with you, it’s a great thing to do and even the kids can help. Local churches or synagogues often feed the needy, especially near the holidays, as well. Kids can serve food, transport food from kitchen to serving line, or help chop vegetables. And it’s an experience that is not quickly forgotten. The perspective check that comes from face-to-face contact with people in need is the perfect antidote to the excesses of the holiday season.

Delegate.
According to the helpful book, Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season, women take on the bulk of the planning for holiday celebrations. Authors Jo Robinson and Jean C. Staeheli even have a chapter titled “Women: the Christmas magicians”. Let’s face it: women are the ones who do most or even all of the shopping, address the holiday cards, plan holiday parties, do the baking and cooking. It’s too much! And there’s no reason that women have to do all of this alone. Send your spouse or partner out with a shopping list for gifts. Have the kids help with the baking. If everyone gets involved, the burden doesn’t fall on just one person, which certainly makes the holidays more enjoyable and much less stressful.

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